The 123 Worst Musicians of All Time
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THE BEATLES
It would make sense to call the Beatles a boy band except, lyrically, they fall pretty far short of the One Directions of the world. Songs like “Hello, Goodbye,” “She Loves You,” and “I Want to Hold Your Hand” could have been written by three-year-olds, while “Hey Jude” sounds like a bunch of dudes smoking pot and jerking each other off while yodelling. It says all you need to about this group that the most famous thing they ever did was walk across a street together.
BJÖRK
You’re supposed to like Björk because your older brother who studied art at community college told you to, but it’s hard to like somebody who sings like they’re trying to get a Honda off using only sound waves.
JOHNNY CASH
People think it’s cool to like Johnny Cash because unlike his contemporaries, not all of his songs were about how he wanted to fuck his sister. But if you look back at his discography, it’s a fiery garbage hole of inane alcoholic ramblings that devolves into that hack who started Def Jam convincing him it was a good idea to cover Nine Inch Nails.
GREEN DAY
The worst thing would be if you died and they played that “Time of Your Life” song at your funeral.
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